There’s a hole in my sidewalk and I keep falling in

That sinking feeling of “Not again…” when we become conscious and aware that we caught in the same patterns, stuck in the same emotional loops, or facing consequences we swore we’d never repeat.

Whether it’s in habits or mindset, growth, relationships or careers, often it feels less like a straight line and more like circling the same block over and over until we finally choose a different street

Portia Nelson’s poem "There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk" captures this human journey with stark simplicity. First published in her book of the same name in 1993, it’s often quoted in reflective practice and for good reason. It reads like an entire life story in five paragraphs. Here’s the full poem

There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: An Autobiography in Five Short Chapters

By Portia Nelson

Chapter One

I walk down the street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I fall in.

I am lost … I am helpless.

It isn’t my fault.

It takes forever to find a way out.

Chapter Two

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I pretend I don’t see it.

I fall in again.

I can’t believe I am in this same place.

But, it isn’t my fault.

It still takes a long time to get out.

Chapter Three

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I see it is there.

I still fall in … it’s a habit … but my eyes are open.

I know where I am.

It is my fault.

I get out immediately.

Chapter Four

I walk down the same street.

There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.

I walk around it.

Chapter Five

I walk down another street.

Portia Nelson, “There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self Discovery” (1993)

What makes this poem powerful is its universal truth. We all have our “holes”, those recurring blind spots, emotional triggers, unhealthy patterns or coping mechanisms we developed when we didn’t know better. At first, we fall in without realising.

Later, we fall in and pretend not to. Then we fall in even though we do know better, and only with effort, do we finally start walking around or away.

This poem doesn’t shame us for the process. It acknowledges the reality of human behaviour, that insight takes time, change takes practice, and responsibility. It is not a switch we can immediately flip.

The Slow Art of Choosing Another Street

Whether your “hole” is burnout, people pleasing, a toxic relationship, overspending or self-doubt, the metaphor remains true. Each chapter is a reminder that growth isn’t about getting it perfect, it’s about recognising the pattern sooner and choosing differently.

Here’s what that might look like:

Chapter One: “I didn’t know this was going to hurt me.”

Chapter Two: “I saw the signs but ignored them.”

Chapter Three: “I knew better, but I did it anyway.”

Chapter Four: “This time, I paused and chose differently.”

Chapter Five: “I created a new environment that doesn’t include that pattern anymore.

Perhaps, the deepest wisdom may be, we are not only responsible for climbing out of the holes, but for eventually choosing streets without them, and noticing when we choose that old familiar street again.

References:

Portia Nelson (1993). There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self Discovery. Simon and Schuster.